mmmarilyn;

a big-city fairy tale.

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{a photo project, 2006}

19 august 2007; sunday.

5:27:27

sofa, late night, Athens, GA

Laying in bed, can't sleep, focusing on the sliding difference between wanting to do something and having the opportunity presented to do it. In my life, the two have almost always come together.

At 13, the prep school girls at my summer camp assumed I had smoked cigarettes before; I found out afterwards that people at my high school had assumed I was a pot smoker. On both occasions I had not only never considered the possibility of such acts, I had never been in a position to decide for or against it. A girl smoking near me at a concert when I was 18. It's hard to imagine now that seeing her hippie sway and a glowing ball in glass I was unaware, but alcohol was still foreign to me, and I had no idea illegal acts sometimes took place in public.

Around 20, for a week or two I flirted with cigarettes, one night chain-smoking and reading Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and at the end of week: a blow-out party. On the driveway at Hemphill and MacMillan, Russ V. laughed at my rapid-fire inhalation, fingers to lips, twist, fingers to lips, asked, "You don't smoke, do you?"

They were harsh on my throat and made me nervous.

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I think my novella is stuck on a computer out of reach right now.

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Logistics: Summer in NYC: busy, but incredible. Inspiring, hopefully enough. Need to be reminded to look at the big picture. Week in Athens: already nice, and next weekend I get to see Bo play, so I wouldn't even need to add that I'm going to Mexico in there in order to feel thrilled to be alive, but I am and I am.

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